So we’ve all had really bad dates – some worse than others. Some stories are hidden way back in the closet never to be talked about again, while others are funny dinner stories. Anyway I figured I’d share my terrible date story – it was almost 3 years ago, so I reckon I canjust laugh about it now 😛 I’ll refer to the guy in the story as Mike (not his real name), who is caucasian (white) which is relevant to the story. Also I just want to preface this and say that I was 18 years old at the time. I went to an all girls school, and legitimately hadn’t talked to a guy for many years – I didn’t know what was normal and what wasn’t. Also I had a really terrible group of friends who continuously told me that I was hideous and would never get a boyfriend, so the second I started talking to this guy – it gave me some strange sort of validation. Anyway preface over, on to the story 😛
So I met Mike while I was working at Eb Games – the Australian version of Gamestop. I was a Christmas Casual there, and we were working at the annual Eb Expo. At the end of the day, we were packing up and were given some free merchandise, I couldn’t carry everything and he lent me a plastic bag. Anyway we got to talking and he asked me for my number and I gave it to him. We soon began texting a bunch and he asked me out to watch a film. I asked to meet up in a neighbourhood that I knew relatively well and we went out to dinner before we watched the film.
So we were sitting there chatting and I don’t know what started it, but we were talking about the scars we had. He was showing me he had a massive cut across his forearm, from when he went to punch a guy, and the guy dodged so he put his arm through a window by accident. He then went through all the times he had gotten in fights. He told me he beat up a Prefect in High School, and I was like “uhh, I was a Prefect”. Then he told me that he once beat a guy cause the guy was staring at him “the wrong way”. Okay I know, I know, the warning bells should have run by now but I was dumb as heck.
Okay so after this ‘date’, I had exams so we didn’t see each other for a month. But I did add him on Facebook, and we continued to chat via messenger. During this time, he made a number of rape jokes, again another massive warning bell that I SHOULD have noticed. but as I mentioned in my preface, I was a dumb naive 18 year old. Now at 21, if a guy made a rape joke to me I’d get the freak out of there.
Anyway I agreed to meet him for a second date. Now this is when things went spectacularly down hill. So we met up at my University – I was smart enough to choose places that I felt comfortable in and knew well. We went to the supermarket and bought some junk food for a mini picnic. While at the supermarket, Mike helped this old lady who had dropped her basket. After he had helped the lady he told me “If I ever get as old and useless as that please kill me”. I was in shock, he had just helped the lady! Anyway we went over to my University’s lake and had our picnic.
We were chatting about some music, and I was talking about how I really loved Beyoncé (and still do). He told me he had never heard of her, and I was like “What! But she’s so amazing, and beautiful” at this point I brought up an image of her and showed it to him. In response to this, he literally, word for word said “I don’t believe in interspecial relationships”. What he meant by this was that – he didn’t believe in relationships with people of different ethnicities – but more so that he considered different ethnicities to be DIFFERENT SPECIES. I then pointed out that I was biracial, my mother is Chinese and my father Australian. I should mention that while I am biracial I’ve inherited my father’s looks, I’ve only ever had 1 person in my entire life pick up that I was biracial. When I said this he then responded with “Yes, but you should just forget your Chinese side”.
I just completely shut down. As I mentioned before, I had a terrible group of friends in High School, unfortunately I didn’t have the self-confidence or strength to yell at him. So I just sat there, in a dissociative state. He THEN went on to start talking about gay marriage, which I’m very pro. He said that (again word for word) “Gay people don’t even want to get married, they just want to create chaos within society”. Yep. He said that bs. At this point I said I had to go home and left.
Now, about a month later, he kept messaging me to meet again. I figured I should meet him to completely break everything off. We agreed to watch a film at the cinema near my Uni. We watched Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 – a film still to do this day I cannot watch. Throughout the entire film he kept grabbing me, trying to hug me and kiss me. It was a bit terrifying as he was a lot strong than me and at some points I literally could not break out of his grip.
At the end of film he walked me back to the station, at which point he asked me what I thought of him. Here I was so anxious to get away from him, I just said I considered him a good friend. I quickly got away from there and just went home, knowing that I would never talk to him again.
Anyway at the end of it, I never contacted him again. He sent me messages on Facebook for months afterwards, but I never responded. I eventually blocked his number and also unfriended him. I later saw on Facebook he continued to make racist and homophobic posts, and that some of members of his family was involved with gangs – I was glad that I got away from him when I did. I’m also lucky that it didn’t escalate.
Anyway that’s the end of my really crazy first few dates stories. I started trying to date again this year, but unfortunately I’ve yet to have a good date! But I’m still holding out some hope.